UPS driver watch out

You know when you can tell that it is just going to be an ugly day?  You know when you wake up and can't find anything to wear in your closet, that is flooded with clothes.  You know when your taking a shower and the drain is so plugged that the dirty water is rising up to your knees by the time your ready to get out.  You know the one.  The one that on your way to work, your stuck behind a driver in the passing lane that is going 10 miles under the speed limit... and then it goes something like this:
Busy work day (cutting hair) one after the other.  The Salon Coordinator comes back and says that I need a money order.  I ask her to run to the bank to get it (because that is all the company will accept), only to have my assistant come back and tell me that the UPS driver wouldn't wait or come back.  Trying not to look as pissed off as I am, because I have a client in my chair and I should be worrying about her hair, not killing the UPS driver.  Ugh.  I finally (maybe 5 min. later) run out the door with check book in hand to find the woman in the ugly brown uniform.  I spot her at a few business' down the street.  "Hey lady" I yell.  She tries to avoid eye contact.  "Hey you, lady" I yell again as I'm gaining on her.  I want my order, and I want it now.  She say's with attitude "I only have to stop once and you weren't able to get it". Are you flipping kidding me.  I said "I"m going to the bank, right there" and I point to it. "You better have my stuff back at the boutique."   She say's "I don't have to." Now mind you, between all of this, I have to go to the bathroom real bad.  I asked her if she is the sub for this route.  Thank GOD she was.  My regular driver knows the routine.  This story could get real long.  I get to the bank, only to have the teller tell me she couldn't give me a money order.  Well, I was pissed, but not as mad as I was when I opened my check book to find no checks.  Wow.  I yelled.  Now I had to run back to the Salon/boutique to get more checks.  I will be back in a hot second.  Talk to your supervisor.  They do this all the time for me. I finally get my money order.  I poke my head out the door to look both ways for the ugly brown truck with the ugly brown uniformed witchy woman.  There it is (and I'm talking about the woman).  Another block away from the Salon.  I run down to the truck.  Waiting  (legs crossed, doing the pee-pee dance) for her to come out of the building.  I shove the money order in her face and tell her that she better have that box of clothes at my door step by the end of the day.  It was a stand off.  She didn't want to give in and I didn't want to pee my pants.   Let's just say I got my clothes and I got to go to the bathroom.
The day continues:  I have two appointments not show up for their cuts and color (very frustrating).  Although I was able to steam my clothes. I'm so glad it's friday and I can order my fish fry. A smile finally comes across my face. They tell me it will be 45 min.  No problem.  I go to the bookstore to check out the running and muscle magazines to kill some time.  I want to buy a bag of chips so bad.  I however know that I have a bad heart and favor the idea of just eating my greasy fish fry it will only be a few more minutes.  While waiting, I drop my magazine.  Yup, I bent over to pick it up off of the floor and I heard and felt the rip and flash of my ass crack coming through my new 300 dollar jeans (no worries, I got them on sale big time).  Now what was I to do?  How was I to get to my car to pick up my fish fry?  I did it.   ONLY to get there and have that woman tell me "I hope you enjoy your fish, it's only been done for 40 min."  You know what?  Give me my damn fish.  I get home to enjoy the cold fish and my yellow undercooked baked potato.
I should have just ordered the damn fries.